Wounded Heroes
Breaking the Bad News
According to a report from the Congressional Research Service, 18,187 servicemembers have been injured in Operation Iraqi Freedom. With a force of more than 130,000, it is unlikely that your husband will return home injured, but the threat is still very real. Manage the initial stages of the worst-case scenario with our guide.
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Be honest.
Tell your children exactly what is going on with their father: what happened, his condition, where it happened, how he is being treated and where the treatment is taking place. The explanation should be age-appropriate: the older the child is, the more detail you can add. Never try to hide what has happened from your children. Kids are very perceptive and will see through any facades you attempt to maintain.
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Children imitate what they see.
How you react to the situation will greatly influence how your children react. Remaining calm and maintaining a normal routine will help assuage their fears.
Be prepared for their reactions.
It's not their fault.
Craft activities can give a sense of control.
Respect their feelings about the war.
Let them know they are loved no matter what.
Younger children will be curious about the situation and want to know what will happen. Older children will be upset. Let your children know that everything that can be done is being done and that their parent is in good hands.
Children have a tendency to blame themselves. They may believe that their misbehavior caused their parent to be injured. Talk through those types of feelings and let your children know they did nothing wrong.
Often times, children feel they should do something to help their loved one. Get together some craft supplies and help your children make a card, collage, painting or drawing for daddy. The finished product will give your child a sense of accomplishment.
Don't debate the war with your kids or try to change their minds about the morality of the conflict. Older children may have definitive opinions about their father's deployment that differ from yours. Keep a united front as a family and talk about their feelings, not the politics.
Reiterate the fact that even though daddy may look differently when he gets home, his feelings for them have not changed.
