Family & Deployment
Children & Deployments
Children often have difficulty coping with a parent’s deployment. It is especially important that children understand what a deployment is and how it will affect them. The following tips may help some children during this trying time:
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Ensure that each child gets alone time with their parent before the deployment date.
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A child must know that they did nothing wrong and that their parent did not abandon them—they are just at work.
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Create a clever way to count down the time until the deployed parent returns. This will help younger children understand that their absence is not permanent.
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Explain to children that even though one parent is temporarily gone, their chores and routine will not change. Make the home as stable as possible and avoid implementing a lot of changes.
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Videotape your children and the servicemember parent doing routine activities together, like bedtime stories, dinner at the table or taking a walk in a park. Children can watch these videos when they miss a parent, and the videos can help keep the parent-child bond strong during long deployments.
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Before leaving for a deployment, parents can record messages to their children. Simple “I love you” messages, singing a song or reading a bedtime story are possibilities.
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Have older children pick up the chores that the deployed parent usually performed.
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Show children on a map where their parent will be staying. This will make the situation less surreal and give them something concrete to picture. Children can find information online about where their parent is deployed.
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Make sure children stay active and eat well. It may seem like commonsense, but healthier kids are happier, less stressed and less restless than kids who are low on sleep or not getting proper nutrition.
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Continue to discipline as you always have. Don't let bad behavior slide because you feel guilty about your spouse being deployed. Set consistent consequences for undesirable behavior and reward good behavior.
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Be affectionate. Kisses and hugs go a long way in calming children’s fears.
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Help children make presents for their deployed parent, and if possible, mail them in a care package.
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Keep children away from television news. Avoid scaring them by limiting their exposure to the violent and/or disturbing images often on TV.
