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I battled a lot of turmoil during deployment. It was a constant struggle within my own heart to hold back when I heard the war being talked about. I have finally decided to air my grievances. This is not going to a long and nasty note where I drop names (like I even know any!), and expose scandals. No, this is just a mother who still feels the sting, and a little battered and bruised from the battle on the home front. I need to find a way to collect these thoughts, air them out, and put them away.

I am not harboring resentment, nor is this some long and old anger that needs to be put to rest. This is more of a collective pain. This is something that hurts me, personally, but it also hurts me because I know it hurts other parents and spouses of Veterans. What I am talking about are comments and remarks that belittle and mock the sacrifices of our Troops.

I have never in my own life witnessed an event that hails so many experts. Virtually everyone in the world has their opinion on the Iraq war, from the newborn to the almost dead — and it is almost never expressed as an opinion. It is usually expressed as fact. I have nothing against opposing view points. I think that practicing a form of discourse around vital topics where we express an antithesis to a movement is a very powerful and wonderful thing to witness. We are created to think critically of this world we are blessed with. We are not stagnant, inanimate, insensate beings, but rather we are dynamic, vivid and passionate. I do not begrudge any one’s opinion in the sense that I respect their right to own it. I do begrudge insensitivity and careless words that hurt those who are hurting — just because someone has the right to do something doesn’t mean that it is always beneficial.

Does Mr. Public have the right to call our troops “baby killers?” Yes, folks that slur is being used in this war too. Of course Mr. Public has the right to say things that are misinformed and downright erroneous, but it is not beneficial. Does Mrs. Public have the right to say that our soldiers are nothing more than “cannon fodder?” Yes, and my answer is the same. What Mr. and Mrs. Public may or may not know is when those words, or words like them, hit the ears of a Vet’s family it hurts. It is hateful, it is hurtful, and it is cruel. It is not only non-beneficial, but it is also down right destructive.

I am painfully aware of what my son has given up to fight in this war. He did not ask for this war, but he answered the call for this Country. He answered the call so that we could have our ideas and have the freedom to express them without the fear of anyone silencing us. He went to war to fight terrorism, and you know what — that is precisely what he is doing.

He is 23 years old. The day he turned 21 he was in the field for his AIT in Infantry. He did not have a wonderful birthday bash with all of his friends. He did not get to order his first beer. He did not get cake, presents and goodies. He got an MRE, a rainy day, and no sleep before a very long ruck march. The day he turned 22 he landed in Germany on his way to Kuwait. I am proud of him, and I very proud of his attitude while making these sacrifices. It’s his job, and he does it well.

He will never again hit those milestones in his life. When he came home from war, he was older than his civilian counter-parts. He was older emotionally, mentally and physically. He has gone without sleep when they were sleeping in, he has gone without a proper meal when they were grabbing a burger in a drive-thru, he has used night vision, when they have been watching movies with friends, and the list goes on and on. It is amazing to me how much of life’s pleasures I had taken for granted. Until Mike was deployed I seriously never thought about our Troops when I was sitting down to a hot meal in my home… now my prayers are longer, deeper and they are for thousands instead of just for my family.

I am not pointing all of this out for sympathy. My son joined a volunteer Army of his own free will and his own accord. He is a bright young man with a very strong will. I am pointing this out because as a parent there is nothing harder than to watch the son or daughter you raised, nurtured and love go off to battle and then feel as if there are those who would use their sacrifice as a soap box for their own agenda. My son’s back has enough weight on it without it being used to prop up somebody’s opinions!

I would appreciate it if I didn’t have hear comments like “we can never win the war in Iraq,” “our soldiers are fighting for nothing,” “they are nothing more than cannon fodder… etc.” My son is not cannon fodder, thank you very much. “The troops” may be simply a talking point for some over lunch, but they have names, they have wives or husbands, they have mothers, daughters, sons and fathers. They deserve to be treated with some common decency.

Now, in closing let me say that I have done a good job holding my tongue — I try to be very diplomatic when I am dealing with stuff like this. I do believe very much that “a gentle word turns away wrath.” I am not encouraging people to start beating protesters over the head with their own signs (no, I am not… I promise!), but can we not learn to show just a shred of decency to one another?

Can we not try and offer a word that expresses our opinions on matters without dragging our troops through the mud and hurting their families with careless words? We can. It’s a matter of tact and a matter of decency. There’s a stark contrast between kindness and cruelty.

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