The Crawfish found out that today is Tuesday, so he chewed through the leather straps and picked the locks on his padded cell in order to bring you up to speed on some things that caught his attention this week. His offering this week is lengthy, but hopefully informative and entertaining. We’re still trying to track him down and put him back in his cell, for the protection of ALL of us.

Gavin Newsome, the pro-homoperv, pro-illegal, anti-America mayor of Than Franthithco has come up with another amazing brain-fart. Now he’s proposing a $1000 fine on folks who don’t properly sort their trash. Is there any length that the nutcases of the Dim-ocrat Party will not go to in order to appease the radicals of the environmental movement? I guess not.
Obey The Eco-Homo Masters!

Another story that comes to us from The Talkmaster, Neal Boortz, has The Crawfish really wondering about the Chicago area. Not only do they oppose the 2nd Amendment, prefer the votes of dead people over those who are still living, and elect folks like Barack Obama repeatedly, but now there’s this story. It starts with, “It’s getting tougher for the dishonest, the mentally unstable and the overweight to get hired as Cook County jail guards these days. As a result, fewer guards are getting hired.” I’d have thought that those folks wouldn’t have been candidates for those jobs in the first place!
Guards needed

Just in case y’all didn’t know that the muzzies are taking over England, which will soon be known as Britainistan, now there’s THIS story about our supposed allies. It seems that they have made deals with Iran and Al-Sadr . Well, maybe that’s why they lost most of their empire and needed the USA to rescue their sorry butts twice in the last century. With friends like this…..
Britainistan appeasers

Speaking of appeasing muslims, y’all wouldn’t think that a candidate for President of the US would take illegal campaign contributions from foreign muslims, would ya?
Illegal Contributions Accepted Here- but keep it quiet

The Crawfish ain’t the only one who knows Obama’s ideas on energy are not reality-based.
The Messiah Know Energy!

The Messiah has more pronouncements on energy, such as proper inflation of auto tires is a step that “every expert says would absolutely reduce our oil consumption by three or four percent.” He obviously believes that we are all driving around on flat tires. Besides, there is not a single rational expert who makes those claims.
I’m stooped so you’re stoopider

Back to the Brits for a moment. Neal Boortz highlighted this story about a Brit “academic” who says that the profs should accept as normal words that students consistently misspell. Alternate spelling is acceptable in universities. I guess their gummint-run schools are as academically inept as the ones over here.
I r kolledge ed-yew-kay-ted

The Messiah now has his own salute. The masses, especially those at the Dims convention in soon-to-be-riotville Denver, are encouraged to use this salute to their leader.
Hail Obamessiah!

Michelle (**sigh**) Malkin and her readers have fixed the logo and suggested a few alternatives.
Salute logo fixed
5 Alternate Obamessiah Salutes

John Edwards has finally admitted to having an affair with his official videographer. This channeller of dead people (he did that in the courtroom a few times in his scheisster days) cheats on his wife, who has battled cancer for years, and denies it for weeks, even though he’s making payments to the other woman through an intermediary and got her moved to the left coast. The woman had a baby, but the birth certificate mysteriously has no name for the babydaddy. Now the word is that she is refusing to let DNA testing be done on her and the baby. Could it be that she doesn’t want her payments (currently $15K/month) to stop, because the child support payments would be less than the cover-up money?

The Maldives Islands have updated their constitution to deny citizenship to all non-muslims. Sounds like a nation that needs to be permanently removed from all American taxpayer funds.
Maldives sux

The French still have their arrogance, and are STILL LOOOOOSERS! The French men’s swimming captain was asked about the American 4 X 100 Freestyle relay team, and said “The Americans? We will smash them!” That same Frog had a nice lead in the final leg of the race. He was still comfortably ahead with 25 meters left. The French won the SILVER medal. The new world record belongs to those smashed Americans. Why don’t you boys go back to the Champs-Elysées, which is nicely lined with trees so the Germans can march in the shade?
SMASH THIS!

The Crawfish’s home state is doing things the right way these days. In the past week, not one but TWO illegal alien criminals have had the needle inserted with a grand “Adios, dirtbag!”
Don’t Mess With Texas!

The Messiah’s supporters have been worshipping a bit too much at the altar of The Prophet Algoracle. They actually WANT gasoline to go to $10/gallon. This was confirmed during debate before Red Nanny P-Lousy closed the House down for vacation. The GOP kept asking if the Dims would consider opening up the OCS and ANWR for drilling if the price of gas was $5/gal, $6/gal, $7/gal, $8/gal, $9/gal, and $10/gal, and the answer (as seen on C-SPAN) was NO!, NO!, NO!, NO!, NO!, and NO!. Yeah, the libs really are looking out for the poor and the middle class.
Getcher $14.99 a gallon gas here!

Is it 1938 all over again with Georgia being invaded by Russia? Is Putin trying to reclaim the lands of the former Soviet Union? Dick Morris actually has a good look at it in his column from Monday. The Crawfish wonders how far this conflict will go.
Morris’ column 8-11

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