Once again, this post is by guest blogger The Crawfish.  It represents HIS views, and his alone.  The staff of vajoe, the management of vajoe, the advertisers of vajoe, the other bloggers of vajoe, and all of the readers and posters of vajoe, along with most of the civilized world have washed their hands of him and consider him to be, well…in need of some help!  The final portion of this manifesto will be published early next week.

Part Two of Three

A little refresher here.  The Swamp’s management has decided that there’s no political party this year that adequately adheres to conservative and Constitutional principles.  We have therefore produced a document sure to cause liberal heads to implode, the 2008 Crawfish Party Platform.   

Topics in our Party Platform include (in no particular order):

National Defense

10th Amendment Commission

Clean Bill Committment

Line Item Veto

The Fair Tax

Entitlement Programs

Foreign Aid

Glo-Bull Warming

What the First Amendment Really Says

Federal Courts and Their Jurisdictions

UnConstitutional Departments, Agencies, and Bureaucracies

Budget

End Social InSecurity Fairly

The English Language

Embryonic Stem Cell Research

Embassy Security

Border Control and Immigration

National Primary Plan

Campaign Finance Reform

Diversity and Multiculturalism

Self-reliance and Responsibility

Political Correctness

Disaster Relief

Abortion

Prisoner’s Rights

The War On Terror

Israel and the Palestinians

Energy Policy

Minimum Wage

Legal Reform

Honesty in Governmental Votes

The Second AmendmentTaking Care of Those Who Are Disabled

A Constitutional Amendment to Fix the 14^th Amendment

In Part One of our essay, we explored the first 7 topics.  We will now go for a bit longer posting and print the next 16 topics, ending with the big political bugaboo called abortion:

Glo-Bull Warming: There’s a reason why Algoracle won the Nobel Peace Prize. It is because his fantasies and lies are unworthy of the Nobel Prize in SCIENCE! Most REAL scientists, climatologists, and meteorologists agree that the Gorons and their scripture, The Holy Goran, are full of it. Glo-Bull warming is caused by cyclical action of THE SUN! Hey, our Party is all for conservation and using the earth’s resources wisely. We even want to reduce pollution. We’re just not going to wreck the US economy to do so on behalf of science fiction.What the First Amendment really says: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” So what does that mean? Does that mean that a local city council is forbidden to put a Manger Scene at City Hall in December, or a borough cannot put up a Menorah in a park? Of course not. Any federal court rulings that have forbidden those actions fail to take into account the first five words of the Amendment. “CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW” has absolutely nothing to do with the actions of any state, county, parish, or municipality in the USA. Those government entities are not Congress, so the federal courts have absolutely no say in the matter. The federal courts have also not paid attention to “or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” They have taken the “establishment clause” to the extreme of saying it applies to almost any governmental acknowledgement of religion in America. What that Amendment really means is that there will be no official national religion along the lines of those seen in Europe in the previous few centuries. It does not mean that we cannot make it very clear that we are a predominantly Judeo-Christian nation, and that we will not accept muslims trying to bring about Sharia Law or any of their plans of dominance. Actually, it does mean that Sharia Law is banned. The third clause is also vitally important, and has been nullified by an illegal law in the past few years. “or abridging the freedom of speech”, which was described by the authors of the Constitution in The Federalist Papers, means that political speech cannot be stifled at all. McCain-Feingold did just that. It must be overturned.

Federal Courts and Their Jurisdictions: The First Amendment stance brings us to another related subject. Why is it that the federal courts are involved in so many aspects of life in the USA that the Constitution doesn’t allow the federal government to have a say in? In 1981, Wesley Cook (who took the muslim name of Mumia Abu-Jamal to show his hatred for America and white people) murdered Philadelphia Police Officer Daniel Faulkner. The State of Pennsylvania charged him with the state count of capital murder and a state jury convicted him, sentencing him to death. The state appellate courts and state supreme court upheld the conviction and sentence. Federal courts stepped in and have tied things up ever since. Since this was a STATE case, the federal courts have no jurisdiction whatsoever. The day after the state supreme court upheld the sentence, the needle should have been inserted. This is just one of thousands of cases from every year that make their way into federal courts but should never have done so. This must end!

UnConstitutional Departments, Agencies, and Bureaucracies: There’s a lot of bloated bits of government that need to simply be ended immediately. Show us in the Constitution where a Department of Education is authorized. How about the Housing and Urban Development. If it is not a government function as outlined in the Constitution with federal spending authorized by the Constitution, then this Party will call for its immediate end.

Budget: Ending unConstitutional programs and government entities, along with rejection of earmarks and wasteful spending proposed by Congress, will allow our budget to be in surplus even if we beef up military spending. Tax revenue will soar under the Fair Tax Plan, especially if we get rid of illegal aliens and give their jobs to those currently leeching off the taxpayers in the forms of welfare, food stamps, free slum/ghetto housing, etc. The only thing that would cause that surplus to be drained would be the five year plan to end Social Security, but once that’s over, the surpluses would be here to stay.

End Social InSecurity Fairly: There is absolutely no reason for the government to be running a Ponzi scheme as a mandatory governmental retirement program. A 1% return on that kind of investment is horrid. The people of America should be in charge of their own money. They can do better for themselves. Our plan would end this fiasco, but in a way that is fair to all who have put in their money over the years. Anybody who is currently receiving benefits would have the choice of staying in the program or getting the remainder of what they paid in to the system returned to them. In Year One, American citizens who are aged 57 and above would receive refunds for every penny they have ever put in, with interest from the time it got put in. Year Two would see refunds for folks 49 and up. Year Three would have citizens 40 and above investing their own money. Year Four has the 30 and older citizens rejoicing. Year Five has all remaining citizens getting their money back. These ages could be adjusted after more studies to make the impact on our budget even across the years. Note that non-citizens don’t get anything. Oh well, that’s another bonus for being a real American.

The English Language: All government forms, with the exception of ones dealing with immigration, customs, tourist information, and international relations/business, shall be printed in English Only! Why are voting ballots printed in over 100 languages? To be authorized to vote, you must be a citizen. To become a citizen, you must be able to speak English. Our campaigns are conducted in English. Anyone who doesn’t speak English cannot get the proper information on the issues and the candidates. Don’t give us that tired equal opportunity line of reasoning. They have equal opportunity to learn English. People who desire to control and function within the official public sector of this nation need to do so in the language of the nation. Not being conversant in common or conventional English places an immense burden on the individual, their segment of society, and the community as a whole, and condemns otherwise talented and capable persons to secondary or lesser status. In short, English needs to become the official language of the United States of America.

Embryonic Stem Cell Research: If private companies wish to do that research, they can do so. The big issue is federal funding of this research. If this research showed any real promise, the pharmaceutical companies would be falling all over themselves to do it, and they could fund it themselves. There’s absolutely no need for government funding.

Embassy Security: In late February of 2008, the US Embassy in Belgrade, Serbia, was invaded and torched. The Marines there did nothing to prevent this action. They were acting this way on orders of the State Department, which was doing its own impression of the administration of James Earl Carter, as per usual. The Crawfish Party would tell the Marines to act as Marines. Any invasion of sovereign US territory is to be repelled. The government of Serbia is also to blame, and they would have received some unfriendly attention, along with having the distasteful task of cleaning up all of those bodies that the Marines disposed of.

Border Control and Immigration: The Crawfish Party supports legal immigration. Illegal aliens are invaders of our nation and will not be treated nicely. They take American jobs from Americans, without paying proper taxes. They commit crime on a level similar to the leeches of our public housing ghettos. Gangs like MS-13 are very dangerous, and many of them are made up entirely of illegal aliens. They overload the public medical facilities and don’t pay the bills. Their hordes of children are a drain on our public education system. The Crawfish Party would seal the borders tight, get rid of the illegals that are here, hammer businesses that harbor and hire illegals, punish “sanctuary” cities, and push for a Constitutional Amendment to end the anchor baby problem. To seal the border, a 12 foot tall chain link fence would be erected the length of the border, approximately 7 inches within the border (with properly guarded openings along the Rio Grande for irrigation and livestock water use). Another 12 foot tall chain link fence would be 15 feet inside of the first. The purpose of these fences would not be to hold back the illegals, but to slow them down and make them good targets for the watchtowers 100 yards back every ¼ mile or so manned by Marines, National Guardsmen, and Marine-trained riflemen. This would have the added benefit of feeding the wildlife along the border. Underground listening devices would also be placed to detect tunneling. Deportation would start happening on a large scale, with plenty of raids on suspected illegal alien work sites. Of course, many of the illegals would start returning to their homelands of their own accord because the jobs would dry up and all benefits currently available to illegals, including education and hospital care would END. Businesses that are found to have illegals on their payroll will face serious penalties, as will the company owners and the people in charge of hiring. The penalties would definitely include prison time, and they would go up based on the severity of the violations and would skyrocket for repeat offenders. “Sanctuary” cities and municipalities would see an immediate end to all federal funds coming their way, to include the cancellation of any federal contract with any business in said municipality. The only federal funds coming in would be for military recruiting.

National Primary Plan: Our Party makes the following proposal for the primaries of all parties to use. It would make things simpler while making all states meaningful in the process, so the bickering between the states could end. For starters, no candidate could file for election or start up any campaign machinery or do any fundraising until 366 days before the election (election year is always a leap year). In January of election years, the traditional starters of Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina would happen. In February, a primary Tuesday would be held that would include enough states to bring the total committed delegate count to about 15% of the total in each party. At this point, the bottom feeding candidates would be dropped. Another round of approximately 15% would happen in March, again eliminating candidates. The third round of 15% would happen in April, and the fourth round in May. At this time, about 60% of the delegates would be committed, with the likelihood of any candidate having clinched being remote, so the remaining states still have a big say in the results.   Now, there would be only two or three candidates remaining in each party. They would have 2 months to campaign over the rest of the nation before the final primary day in mid-July. The conventions would occur in late July and early August, with the parties currently not occupying the White House going first.

Campaign Finance Reform: Our Party has one major plan to change how campaigns are financed, besides the repeal of the unConstitutional McCain-Feingold. Individuals, organizations, and businesses can only contribute to candidates running in the district/state that the individual lives or works in, or the organization/business has a branch in. Foreign and anonymous contributions are not allowed. All contributions are to be posted on the campaign’s website within 24 hours.

Diversity and Multiculturalism: This is The Big Thing on college campuses, businesses, and government entities. It is also huge for the media. It is a bunch of dung. We have a National This Month and a National That Month all over the calendar, along with special days honoring everything that makes us different from each other. It is time to STOP celebrating diversity and multiculturalism, and all of the other anti-white, anti-Christian, anti-male, anti-heterosexual, anti-moralistic, anti-folks who actually earn enough to PAY taxes, anti-legal American, anti-American stuff. Diversity didn’t make us a great nation. What made us great are the things that give us UNITY, so let’s celebrate them!

Self-reliance and Responsibility: Our nation has become a nation of victims and leeches. Too many of our people constantly have their hand out. Everybody wants something for nothing. Most of them are Democrats. You cannot watch television during the daytime and not get bombarded with commercials for lawyers. People will sue over ANYTHING! This is because our society tells people that they are never responsible for their own actions and lack of success. Nobody is willing to actually WORK for a living anymore.  This nation became great because Americans grabbed hold of life, took risks, and worked their butts off until they could support themselves and their families.   

Political Correctness: Screw it! If your skin is thin, move to France.

Disaster Relief: Many on the left side of the aisle have railed about the lack of response from the federal government after hurricane Katrina. This is in spite of the fact that the federal government has spent over $200,000 per resident for relief and recovery down there. We say the government has spent too much! If you live in a hurricane strike zone, you’d better have good insurance, because it isn’t the government’s job to make your life better after the storm. As for the immediate response and the problems in New Orleans, their local and state governments let them down. State law called for a mandatory evacuation of New Orleans and points south 72 hours ahead of a Category 3 or higher hurricane strike. Governor Blanco and Mayor Nagin ignored that law, then blamed Bush. Mississippi got hit harder than Louisiana, but folks there, led by Governor Haley Barbour, evacuated as necessary, then rolled up their sleeves and got to work with the attitude of “we’ll make it better than it was!” They didn’t whine in the national press about Bush not supporting them. They are Real Americans.

Abortion: Since this is a party platform, this issue is mandatory. Roe v Wade is the single worst case of Constitutional Law ever. The Supreme Court magically came up with some Constitutional ‘right of privacy’ that isn’t in the Constitution, and then they made it a reason to create federal law about baby killing. Jeffrey Dahmer killed and ate young men in the privacy of his apartment, but he was still a murderer. What does privacy have to do with killing babies? No Constitutional federal laws were in play, so the case should never have gone to the Supremes. It was a state law that was in question, so it should have stayed in the state courts. There is absolutely no reason for an American taxpayer to pay for an elective abortion. This will not cause women to “be forced to return to back alley abortionists” as the normal unhinged argument goes. Rather it simply means that they will be required to bear the burden of their own choice instead of having the taxpayers pay.

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