I am a pretty traditional gal. I love to have an echo of years past in the things that I do in the present. For example, we trim our tree every year with an ornament that is bought or made to represent something about each family member — a characteristic of theirs, a trait, a desire, a struggle they faced, or a personality quirk. Our tree is filled with memories of the past years spent trimming the tree and enjoying our ornaments. Last year my son got a toy soldier ornament since he blogs under that name, and my husband got a wooden ornament shaped like Punxsutawney Phil. He was coming home after spending, what felt like an eternity, in HHC. He would text me every day to say “Happy Groundhog Day, AGAIN!” It’s a funny and tongue in cheek reminder of what he survived last fall.

We went for a long car drive in the Country on Sunday evening. It’s one of our favorite traditions to do after the hottest days of summer and before the coldest days of winter. There is nothing more relaxing than taking a fall drive in the Country. We are a little early for our most favorite season, but it’s fast approaching.

What kinds of traditions do you and your family hold? Are they traditions that have been with you for many generations, or new ones? If they are old traditions, where did the start and why? If they are new, what prompted you to begin it, or was it happenstance? Do you have weekly traditions? Monthly? How about Seasonal?

Here are our Fall traditions that we look forward to every year:

* Going to apple festivals in our area.
* Making and canning homemade pumpkin and apple butter and small loaves of bread to hand out to friends and family.
* Making a pretty Fall wreath and other decorations with leaves we find on nature walks and gourds we get at the store.
* Attending a small bon fire put on by friends from our Church. We make S’mores and visit with friends.
* Put out my favorite Fall and Winter scented candles for the season… cinnamon, pumpkin, spices, and mulberry.
* Getting a new family picture made when everyone’s together.

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Your weekly dose of good news from the front lines. (more…)

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I have been living under the stress of profound debt for several years now. While still married to my ex-husband I had a knack for robbing Peter to pay Paul and along the way we had great credit but we were very over extended. We were living on credit and when my marriage came to an abrupt end, not only was I left to pick up the emotional wreckage of the damage that was created by betrayal and the physical abuse but I was now a single mother who was left with all of the bills.

We had eventually separated our bills in the court system and though I by no means had the ability to pay for all that I was ordered to pay, I was trying to make it happen. There were letters and notices that I had not opened for over a year and a half as I couldn’t face it all. My ex-husband is refusing to pay the bills that he was ordered to pay that have my name attatched to them.

I have been surviving but not living. Prior to my separation and divorce I was a stay at home mom. My ex-husband didn’t want me to work. Now looking back I see that as a red flag. It was part of his control of me. The plan was for me to go back to work once my youngest child was in school. He would get angry when I brought up my going back to work yet he would complain about the money or the lack of. Never once did I discuss money with him. I was afraid to. He would rage and I felt like a child fearful of her parent. That is a clear sign of a very unhealthy relationship. Hindsight is 20/20 isn’t it?

Things are different now. I have learned some very hard lessons and I hope my experience will somehow prevent some of you from going through the same mess I am dealing with.

I am now filing for bankruptcy. I have no choice. It is my only chance to start my life over and be free. To feel the hope that my future will bring. I have opened all of those letters and notices and as I tore each one open I felt a bit lighter knowing that I was taking action to somehow fix the mess I have found myself in.

I will never have another credit card. If I don’t have the cash then I don’t need it. PERIOD! Credit cards will drag you in and as you acquire more credit cards you become addicted to them. Break the addiction now. Put them away, cut them up. Have one for an emergency only. What you buy with that card won’t out last your debt.

If you find yourself chasing your bills and shuffling them around like I was then you know you are in trouble. Get a grasp on what is going on. Correct the problem before it gets out of hand.

To the women out there I want to say this. Always be prepared to provide for yourself. Never count on anyone but yourself when it comes to survival. Love is a wonderful thing but it can go terribly wrong when one least expects it. Never be caught without a way to make a living. Go to school. Have a job. Do both. I am now in school and feel empowered by it. I work and though it is not always easy work, I find satisfaction in the fact that I am doing for myself and my children.

My ex-husband is also what they call a dead beat dad. He is hiding from his responsibilities to his beautiful son. He refuses to pay child support. Now he is on the run and working under the table. He has brought another child into the world as well. We all choose our paths in life and he has choosen his. I live freely and he lives in the shadows must continue to hide. That is not a life. I would be lying if I didn’t think it was Karma on his tail and I think it was about time.

Once my finances are taken care of and I can finally breath I will start living again. I am smiling more now from the heart.

To those of you who are just starting out in life and are so in love, heed my words. I don’t mean to throw a damper on the love fest but my intention is to toss in some reality into the mix. Trust is something that we must all gamble with. I am willing to trust again, but I will only trust me completely when it come down to it.

Bankruptcy isn’t the best option for some but in my situation it is my only way to a brighter future. I see my attorney Monday to start the paperwork and I know it will take awhile to wade through all of it.

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Everyone knows the stock market has been abysmal since last September.
It looks like this will continue for quite some time. Oil market in turmoil, housing costs worldwide in a tail spin. Most economists say housing won’t start a serious recovery until September 2010. Food prices in orbit, all consumables skyrocketing, prices largely driven by high fuel costs, no end in sight.

With World Economic indicators just as grim, why should we expect any sudden longterm upturn in the stock market?

No matter who gets elected the economic woes we are experiencing are tied to the world economy and debt. No new administration will be able to make a significant impact on this for 2 years or more.

Wall Street is feeding us a load of BS. If you own Mutual funds (80% of Americans do through 401k’s 403b’s and IRA’s) you keep hearing “Don’t worry, it will come back.” “Now is the best time to buy, while the market is down.”
“Don’t think of it as a loss. It isn’t a loss unless you get out while it’s down.”

Sound familiar? Didn’t we hear this load of BS in 2000-2003? From late 1999 through 2007 we saw virtually no measurable gain for the average investor. The losses were finally recovered by late 2007. Now we are back in it again. 40% plus losses are common in the last year. If the economists are right, you will continue to suffer large losses for at least the next 2 years.

Who can afford 11 years of no gain or worse, large losses? How can I retire or provide for my children’s education if my investments don’t even come near inflation? Why are the Wall Street people still charging me fees when they continue to lose my money?

Have you ever wondered why they never seem to come up with answers?
They are making billions of dollars at our expense and making no effort to help us.

They (Mutual Fund Companies and dealers) will never be on your side. They only get paid to add more money to the coffers; not to manage the money that is in there.We have been deceived and we bought it hook, line and sinker.

When other options to earn a fair return without the risk and volatility if the market are introduced they tell lies and deceive us to keep us from doing something that well may be a much better option for us.

Fixed Index Annuities have been around for more than a decade but few have ever heard of them.

You remember your grandparents Annuities that were safe from loss but had very small fixed earnings? Not a good option if you need to grow your money more aggressively. Or how about the Variable Annuity that was nothing more than Mutual funds wrapped in an Annuity coupled with excessive fees and highly restrictive liquidation penalties. Those turned out not to be an answer either.

The creation of the Fixed Index Annuity has been a highly successful effort by annuity companies to address the shortcomings of Mutual Funds, stocks, bonds and fixed accounts.As well as addressing the restrictiveness of traditional Annuities.

Fixed Index Annuities enable you and I to invest in a vehicle that can produce market like earnings on the up side and eliminate loss on the downside. Many Fixed Index Annuities have features like protection against probate costs, the ability of the beneficiary to inherit it without creating an immediate taxable event. Many pay large incentive bonuses (up to 12.5%)as well as a guaranteed minimum earning while the market is down.

With all that going for it why are we not hearing more about them? Simple. The mutual fund industry has lost so much business in the last 5 years to Fixed Index Annuities (trillions of dollars) that they have made multiple attempts to block their availability or attempts to prevent investors from qualified rollovers or even making false claims about them to discourage the investor.

So what can we do? If you ask someone in the mutual fund industry they will not speak favorably, plus they make their living selling mutual funds and not Fixed Index Annuities.

Ask a qualified Annuity agent.

What ever product you use,there are now hundreds of them available. Protect what you have worked so hard to save and grow it with confidence and a real sense of peace.

Don’t wait! Can you afford to lose more? You can learn more at the website below.

Doug’s Money Matters is a section of the VAJoe Blog to ask for quick financial tips and advice from an expert with more than 20 years experience in counseling families to live without debt and to reach there financial potential. Please leave comments on this Blog. You can learn more about the Money Matters advisor at his website. The posts and comments by JoeMoneyMatters reflect his two decades of financial counseling experience. VAJoe.com does not endorse any financial strategies, but offers this blog as a service to its site members for discussion.

http://dkirk@forwardfinancialgroup.com

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Never Surrender

A Soldier’s Journey to
The Crossroads of Faith and Freedom

LTG (Ret) William G Boykin

My first introduction to General Boykin was amid the slime campaign of the left in the early years of the War on Terror. I had never heard of him before - most had not - after all, he was a member of Delta Force, became the commander of Delta Force and finished his career as the deputy undersecretary of defense for intelligence at the Pentagon.

Reading General Boykin’s book is taking an action tour of the history of the last decades of the 20th Century. He takes you through Ranger School, the end of the Vietnam War, the qualifying for the new unit, Delta Force, the Desert One action during the Iran Hostage Crisis, the Sudan, the War in Greneda, Panama and the capture of Noriega, Columbia and the hunt for Pablo Escobar, Waco, Mogadishu and the event known as Black Hawk Down and hunting war criminals in the Balkans. Boykin was in the center of the action at all of these historic events.

I learned a great deal that I did not know about these historic events, including the source and reason for the rock music while Noriega was hiding in the Vatican Embassy. No, it isn’t any of the reasons the press told us about. The events are given clarity and reason.

Throughout the most dangerous conflicts in the world, good men are wounded and good men die. General Boykin shares their heroic stories. He also shares the story of his faith - the thread that kept him moving forward and doing the right thing while he was protecting our country.

This is a book full of noble stories and heroism. It reads with the tension of a well crafted novel. Anyone interested in history or the military should read this book.

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Okay, I slacked off last week, but I ain’t doin’ that this time. Stand the heck by. Some folks are about to receive the Wrath of the Crawfish.

Don Fowler, former CHAIRMAN of the DNC, is a pig of the first order. He was caught on audio and video while on a flight from the DNC convention in Denver to Charlotte. He was having a conversation with Representative John Spratt (D-SC). He finds it funny that Hurricane Gustav is hitting N’awlins on the first day of the GOP convention. He says it shows “God is on our side.” Of course, if the tables had been reversed and this was a Republican saying this trash, it would be front page above the fold news for a month and would lead every mainstream media news broadcast for at least 4 days. Notice that Spratt does nothing but chuckle, so he’s just as much a pig.
Audio from youtube: DNC JERK audio
Here’s the video of the comments: DNC JERK video
Fowler later did apologize, but blamed the whole incident on a “right-wing nutcase” who posted his comments on the internet. Sorry, jerk, but whoever posted that video did the right thing in exposing you for the pig that you are, no matter what his political affiliation.

Of course, the mainstream media piles on with Keith Olbermann’s show on MSNBC giving Michael Mooreon the opportunity to spout “Gustav is proof that there is a God in Heaven!”
Moore-on

Speaking of Barack Obama’s good friends, his spiritual mentor, Reverend Wrong, popped off with this beauty over the weekend, “This ordinary boy — Obama — just might be the first president in the history of the United States to have a black woman sleeping at 1600 Pennsylvania legally.”

More of The Messiah’s friends….WGN radio in Chicago aired an episode of one of their talk shows with guest Stanley Kurtz, who is a political columnist. He has recently reported on the beginnings of Obama’s political career and how it started at the home of anti-American terrorist William Ayres. He detailed Obama’s relationship with Ayres, which is all documented facts. The Obama Campaign found out about the show and tried to get WGN to not allow Kurtz on the air. When that failed, they got a hold of many of their minions in the Chicago area to flood WGN’s switchboard, so the show couldn’t get any really interested callers. The campaign told it’s slaves that, “WGN Radio is giving right-wing hatchet man Stanley Kurtz a forum to air his baseless, fear-mongering terrorist fears… pushing lies, distortions and manipulations about Barack and University of Illinois professor William Ayers.”

Wright and Ayres story
There was even a television ad on the Ayres subject. The Dim-ocrats tried to pressure stations into not showing it, even threatening to sic the Justice Department on them. The ad, however, is completely factual, so the Obamites have nothing to stand on. Here it is:
Ayres-Obama Ad

Now for some of the REAL story on Hurricane Gustav. Fox News did a phone interview with former Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco. Anchor Julie Banderas (WOW!) asked what was so different this time since the preparations were going so much better than for Katrina. What mistakes had Blanco and Nagin made back then. Blanco immediately said that the problems during Katrina were all because the federal government didn’t do anything for them. Banderas quickly shot back with the fact that it is the state and local government’s responsibility, not the feds (BANG!). Some of the differences:
Blanco and Nagin refused to obey state laws and order mandatory evacuations, even when Bush called them and requested that they order them. Jindal made it happen. No parking lot of flooded out school busses. (The Crawfish knows those evacuations are Louisiana state law, since Mrs. Crawfish grew up in the N’awlins area and was mandatorily evac’d multiple times…her Dad was a N’awlins cop after serving 3 tours in Vietnam with the USMC)
Blanco did not pre-position the National Guard. Jindal put 1500 of ‘em in N’awlins along with urban search and rescue teams.
Blanco refused to allow the National Guard troops from neighboring states to enter Louisiana and have their people and equipment ready. Jindal coordinated efforts with the governors of Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, so relief personnel and equipment was staged and ready no matter where the storm hit.
Blanco whined that Bush didn’t do anything. Jindal led the people of his state.
Blano never asked Bush to use “article 32” powers to secure federal funding before the storm hit. Jindal sought and received it.
We’ll see how the recovery goes.

The most pathetic excuse for a Naval officer and President in our history has opened up his yap again. Jimmuh Cahtuh says John McCain is “milking” the story of his time as a POW. Peanutboy didn’t say anything about John Kerry four years ago reminding people at every turn that he got a Purple Heart for scratching himself in Vietnam. Besides, who cares what an anti-Semitic terrorist-loving has-been is saying?
Peanuts cause brain rot

Scandals are good business for Dim-ocrats. Just ask John “Scheisster” Edwards. The Silky Pony has come out of the acknowledgement of marital infidelity smelling like a rose. He’s back on the speaking tour and has even hiked his engagement fees.
Silky Pony Story

Meanwhile, back in reality… The Crawfish still isn’t too happy with the nomination of Juan McLame for the GOP, but his selection of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is a fantastic one. Of course, the Obama-Biden campaign immediately screwed up by saying she is in the pocket of big-oil and the special interests, when she has fought big-oil and special interests and WON! Then they put feet in mouth by saying she was JUST the mayor of a small town. That’s a good way to p-off lots of small town America. As a Mayor and then Governor, she’s got much more EXECUTIVE experience than Obama and Biden combined. She’s also run a family business, which none of the others have done.

In 2012, the GOP will have five GREAT potential Presidents. Imagine a GOP primary debate (if McLame only serves one term) with the candidates being Palin, Jindal, JC Watts, Michael Steele, and Duncan Hunter. All five would be great choices and only one of the bunch is a white male. The Dim-ocrats wouldn’t know what to do!

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I may have mentioned in the past that I was born and raised in Arizona, in a very small town (well small at that time anyway) called Apache Junction. When my folks moved to AJ there was only one stop light, and maybe a lizard farm and a cactus juice stand. Seriously, the only thing that crossed the streets in droves at that time were tumble weeds. Well AJ has grown up a lot over the years, and now it is really just a continuation of Phoenix and Tucson — it is somewhere between the two.

I moved to Asheville NC 21 years ago. When I thought of moving to the South the first thing that came to my mind was the Andy Griffith show. I really thought Asheville would be just like Mayberry — creepy barber, dumb gas station guy, and noble Sheriff included! The whole kit and caboodle! Boy, was I disappointed!

Asheville is something entirely different today than it was 20 years ago. It has turned into a very big city crammed within the confines of a small mountain town. When I escaped from there a few years ago I was very glad to bid it farewell. I miss certain things about it, but it has become the quintessential “It’s a nice place to visit, but you don’t want to live there” kind of place. It is really sad because it was a very charming mountain town back in the day, and now it is called the “Freak Capitol” of the nation. I guess at some point the local agriculture changed with the culture itself.

When I first moved to Asheville I was like an alien to some of my neighbors. They were not unkind to me or anything. You see Southern folks are not mean. They just “love ya to death!” The first little lady who greeted me and made me feel like I was home was a granny who was in her 80s. She was a dear, and she taught me words and phrases like “fat back,” “creasy greens,” “back-side outards,” and “chitterlings.” If you don’t know what fat back and chitterlings are (aka chittlins’, et al) you don’t want to know. Ok. Don’t do it. Don’t Google it. You will be sorry, and I will not be held liable.

Anyway, Granny P was simply wonderful in many ways. This little lady lost her husband and raised 5 children on her own in a day before welfare was common. She worked in a chicken packing factory during the day, and took laundry in of an evening. It was not an easy life, but she was not bitter about it at all. She seemed to have an inner resolve, and it was through watching her plug away at life in her broken down, over worked and burdened body that I learned why NC is called the “Tar Heel State.”

Well Granny introduced me to Southern culture and language, proper. I got my informal introduction in Memphis TN while in transit to my new destination. It was lunch time along the road between Apache Junction and Asheville — even if the trip both begins and ends on I-40 it is long. We stopped in Memphis to grab a bite. I went into a small restaurant and ordered a ham sandwich. The lady behind the counter had a cute southern accent and smiled at me and said:

“Would that be country ham or city ham on that sandwich, darlin’?”

“Huh? I didn’t know that pigs lived in the city. What’s the difference?”

“Uh, the country ham is cured.”

“Well that can’t be good! Cured of What?”

“No darlin’ cured with salt. You ain’t from around here are ya?”

Lo and behold! I had just heard what would be the Southerner’s mantra for me for the next 15 years, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?” See Southern folks are kind and nice. She would have never said “Look lady you are obviously from the City and as dumb as a bag of hammers, now order your sandwich!” I think I know what she said when I walked out of the restaurant that day. I didn’t know it then, but I know now. She undoubtedly sighed and said “Well, bless her heart!” That is a saying with a connotation only known to natives of the South and those of us outsiders who learned the accent really quickly.

“God bless her!” “Bless your heart!” and “God love it!” are three sayings that sound innocuous, but they are not. No, sir. They basically mean “She’s an idiot and needs help!” “You’re really dumb aren’t ya?” and “You are so stupid that I have to beg God to love you!” Mark Twain once said,“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” He obviously knew Southern folks. They can take the right words and turn a phrase like none other known to mankind. Twain is also credited with saying “… a true diplomat can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the trip.” He must have used the term “diplomat” as a code word for Southern folk. Indeed.

My next encounter with the language differences came a year or so after meeting my precious neighbor — who, by the way, had never been outside of Western NC in her 80+ years on the earth. I just had my second son, Noah. He was about 5 months old when we went to the store one day. I had him dressed in a cute little yellow outfit. Noah was a very beautiful baby. He really was, and it was not uncommon for people to stop me to comment on his huge blue eyes, long eye lashes, and cute dimples. So, I never got offended when he was wearing gender neutral clothing and there was confusion. I mean at that age there is no reason to take offense when someone asks how old “she” is. That question is not the one that bothered me.

As I was standing in the check-out lane gazing proudly at my little guy, a sweet little lady came over to me and said “Oh, how darlin’! What is it?” My proud smile quickly faded into a grimace. I pondered her question for a few seconds, but it felt like hours… “What is it?” So, I looked at her with all the kindness I could muster and I said “It’s a baby!” To which she said “Oh, honey I know it’s a baby, but what is it?” I was nearly in tears at this point. I thought that maybe I was on Candid Camera or this was some huge cosmic “Whose on First?” joke. She then noticed my look of utter confusion and said, “Is it a boy or a girl?” To which I quickly and cheerfully said “Oh! It’s a boy!” We both walked away feeling a little dumber that day.

My journey into the Southern way of life has been a fun and adventuresome one. I have met some very colorful and weathered characters in this region. Mostly I have found them to be good folks, who appreciate hard work and honest love. Of course you have the few who wind up coloring the backdrop in the minds of the outsiders. This is why, unfortunately, many people will deduct 10 I.Q. points from a person the second they hear a Southern accent. There are those who deserve such judgment because of their way of life, but I always see a huge distinction between the rebel ‘rousers and good old “Southern folks.” Every culture and region has their own rebels who taint the opinions of the masses. Bless their hearts!

Y’all have a good Monday now!

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Once again I am offering a good news inoculation to cure you of the defeatist disease perpetuated by the main stream media. Take a peek at the good news pouring in from Iraq. Stability, economic growth, peace, citizen participation, patriotism, and vital industry being built may sound like success to the average person, but to the likes of Reid, Pelosi, et. al, it means defeat. Go figure! (more…)

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When it was announced that Senator John McCain had selected Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate last week I was elated. The more I heard about her the more I liked her. She is the type of woman who holds her ground and stands up for what she believes in. She is very inspiring to me.

Of course there are those who are now coming out of the woodwork to question her experience, her politics and her education. She is not an attorney therefore she must not be suited to lead right?. If you ask me, the fact that she ISN’T in attorney is more of a positive in my book.

She has been a maverick in her own state and has stepped on many corrupt toes regardless of their party ties. I find that is admirable in so many ways. She is gutsy and sure of herself. Heck, she hunts moose and can make a mean moose stew!

While all of these things are great accomplishments, she has done something even better in my eyes. She has been a wife and mother. She has 5 children. Her son just left for Iraq to serve this great country. She has a special needs child who is the light of all of their lives I am sure. She is married to her high school sweet heart. If anyone is looking to discredit this woman they will find that her family will be hard to tear apart. They are just as strong as she is. I have a feeling she is meaner than a grizzly bear when it comes to protecting her children.

It is funny how people will discredit her and I am sure she knew she was going to face such scrutiny. How brave of her and her family to push forward with this great responsibility. People have to realize that these are Alaskans. They live under some very hostile weather conditions. Often the state is ignored unless it comes to energy concerns. Senator McCain is no fool. He knows that Governor Palin is made of sterner stuff. She is very prepared to fight the big fight.

I find her very inspiring on a personal level. As I work towards my goals each day to make my life better for my sons and I, I can identify with her no nonsense, fighting spirit. It is about time that a down to earth role model comes along that women such as myself can relate to. She hunts and will protect my right to bear arms. She is a regular gal who has a brain and that is what I like. Sure, she has more money than I do. But that is not what I am looking at. I am more concerned about her character.

Women have a problem more times than not with strong women. We have a tendancy to knock each other down. I am only going to speak from my own experiences and insights. So if the shoe fits, wear it.

I have a belief that many women are just plain jealous of each other. The word CRUEL comes to mind. There is an unspoken competitiveness that goes beyond looks and who has the better husbands, cars and clothes. Some women are envious of another woman’s inner strength and accomplishments. We have become our own worst enemies. Men don’t have to do a thing. They just sit back and watch the catfights. It is very belittling and degrading. It is about time that we stick together and become friends. If not friends then we must become partners in this world for a positive change. I am not speaking of the Obamamessiah’s change. I still am trying to figure out what he means. Once we can get past all the personal bashing of each other, will we get past the questioning of our ability to succeed based on our gender.

In my observations men can be friends and buddies for life. They have the ability to go with the flow and live and let live for the most part when it comes to each other. They usually don’t hold a grudge. Their cure for most things is a cold beer and a football game.

Women work differently. The gossip is so damning. The fact that we are capable of destroying each other and tearing one another apart is so very sad. I have met very few women who have girlfriends that they have known and been close to for their entire lives.

Many of you who work in an office that is predominately female know how stressful it can be. That is where the changes have to be made. Take the time to re-evaluate yourself, your own actions and open a positive dialogue with each other. Take the “I” out of TEAM. Become a team. That is how you will find peace at work and at home. Give it a try and you will be amazed how much happier you will be. Stop gossiping. Stop being negative about one another. Recognize those around you as individuals. Our actions sometimes directly affect the actions of those around us either positively or negatively. Be a positive role model. Mentor your female co-workers.

There are some exceptions. The women who are “down to earth” are what it is going to take to turn things around. It’s time to get down to the nitty gritty and get the job done. Governor Palin is the woman for the job.

Just remember that no matter what each of us goes through each day. No matter what troubles we may have, we too can be inspirations to someone in our lives. That is very powerful and profound.

There have been some struggles of late for me and even when I am low crawling through a day there is someone who comes along at just the right moment and tells me that I inspire THEM! How could this be? I am trying to just make it through the next hour. But we don’t see what others see when we look in the mirror. We are our own worst critics aren’t we? They must see something in me that I am missing. These people make me smile and help me focus. They in turn inspire me to continue on. I realize then that inspiration comes from pain and struggle. It also comes from positive outcomes. I am working towards the postive.

I will continue to be inspired by others and I hope to continue to inspire others myself. That is how hope is perpetuated.

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Midnight,

The Vietnamese New Year

Cpl. Clide Dillenberg and I sit on the edge of our foxhole taking our turn at watch. Clide, My friend and mentor says the VC and NVA don’t fight during Tet.
Then we hear Puff the Magic Dragon overhead a few miles to our front.
Suddenly a red SiFi ray gun like stream of tracers come from the blackness of the night sky with a long moaning droning sound.
Why are they firing Says Clide. They(The NVA & VC) don’t fight on Tet?
Something isn’t right here.

Daybreak, It has been raining most of the night and we are wet and cold even though it is in the upper 70’s. We mount up with the rest of Fox Company 2nd. Battalion 5th. Marine Regiment to do a sweep 13 clicks(Kilometers) west. Very hilly and we are carrying full gear and demo (Demolition supplies, C-4, det cord, fuse, blasting caps, fuse lighters.) about 65 lbs of gear not counting rifle, amo, canteens etc. We force march (Fast walk) 13 clicks west.up and down steep hills through dense jungle.

Mid day, No enemy encounter we, get a call form Battalion HQ. “Get back to LZ (cleared Landing zone) to be flown to a hot situation”. We force march double time. 13 clicks back at a slow to medium run.

The Chinooks are waiting when we reach the LZ. Pile in we can rest a few moments before making sure our battle gear is ready.

“:HOT LZ AHEAD!”

“We are going in Hot. ” We fly over the City, it is a big modern city with multi story structures. Hue! The provincial Capital The 2nd. largest and most modern City in South Viet Nam. We fly down the Perfume River and over the bridges Heavy gunfire form the ground and from our Choppers.

Hue City is divided in two by the Perfume River. The Modern City holds all the Government buildings and a Branch campus of Ohio University. The other side holds the Citadel ( An ancient Castle built in the pre colonial days).

We land a small park. The Gate drops, Everybody starts running out.
Machine guns fire on us as we run. We hit the ground and do squad rushes until we make it to the MacV compound. Safe inside after dragging and carrying our wounded and dead brothers to safety. We collapse for a few minuets while the skipper (Captain Mike Downs) Checks in with Battalion and the other company CO’s and we check on and treat our wounded.

Hotel company, Echo company and Gulf company will join up from 3 directions and try to capture the modern side of the City. Fox will cross the bridge and try to help units if 3/5 who are fighting at the Citadel.

We start across the Bridge and all is quiet. As we approach the other side of the Bridge the NVA open up with Machine gun fire. No where to go but back.
We drag our wounded and dead back off the Bridge and Back to the MacV. The Battalion CP orders us to go down the street along the river to the provincial Capital HQ.

As we were to find out much later several NVA Divisions have overrun the City overnight and now control everything They have killed anyone associated with the South Viet Nam Government or the US thousands of bodies were recovered later from mass graves. The streets are littered with rubble, blown up vehicles and body’s.An NVA flag is flying on the flag pole just 6 blocks away at the Provincial Capital office Building.

This section of the Modern side of the City has several important Government buildings now held by the NVA. Our objective is to find a way to recapture the Capatal buildings. Every where we attempt to go we are met with overwhelming fire. We finally start down the back yards of some Government officials mansions. Ahead we see several NVA run into a bomb shelter in a back yard. (A grass covered mound covering a concrete bunker with doors at both ends.

Engineers up!”

Cpt. Downs wants us to blow the door off one end of this bunker. We sneak up under cover fire and throw a satchel of C-4 against the door and run. Kaboom! the doors blow off both ends and a huge fire ball comes out of the bunker on both ends. When the fire goes out we go in to find 5 charred NVA officers bodies. The bunker had held something explosive and our explosion detonated what ever was inside.

Across the street the 106MM recoilless rifle mounted on a mule ( A small flatbed one man vehicle) is blasting away at the buildings where we are receiving fire from. He fires and the enemy is dead! We finally make it to the medical college. Imagine my surprise, an Ohio boy finding an Ohio University medical school in Viet Nam in the middle of the largest single battle of the entire War.

Working building to building we clear them and kill, capture or run them out.

Nightfall. The NVA have retreated back into their buildings as have we.

One on and one off watch all night 2 hour watches. Clide and I are in a Dental school building. I’m on watch. I sit in a dental chair swiveling 360 degrees and watch all the windows while Cide sleeps. This is so surreal siting in a dentists chair in the middle of Hue in the middle of a War.

Morning.

The word is passed. Gas masks! We are going to gas (CS Gas, a form of tear gas) the NVA across the street and then rush the building. The grunts rush in and kill all the NVA in the building. Cpt. Downs and his radioman head for the door to cross the street. Mike, the Skippers radioman goes through the door first right in front of the Skipper, Clide and I. Kaboom! We are all hurled to the floor. Looking up, Skipper is covered with blood and flesh as are Clide and I. Mike?A P40 rocket right in his face. The whole top half of his body is missing.

Late morning.

A government building of some kind across the street contains a large vault of some kind. We are told to blow it up and recover whatever important documents are contained inside. We were unsure how much C-4 to use. We don’t want to have to do this again.

Baloom!

The explosion blows the vault door completely off and halfway destroys the vault itself.Piasters (South Vietnamese Currency) are flying everywhere. It is a Bank! We just blew up a bank vault and money is flying everywhere. The Skipper looks through the rubble and we find very few documents.

The Capital compound is surrounded by a 8′ high concrete wall we cannot climb over it because they just pick us off one by one as we attempt to climb over. “Engineers up!” Cpt. Downs wants us to blow a large hole in this wall so we can rush the NVA in the compound. More C-4. A UPI news reporter is asking us if he can film us blowing up this wall. We said sure but you need to be way back. He takes a position 50 yards back where he can still see the wall but has some cover. Kaboom! The reporter is on his back, unhurt but a bit shell shocked. Our guys rush the buildings inside the compound and in minuets we have regained control of the buildings in the Capital compound.

“Who has an American Flag?” says Captain Ron Christmas of Gulf company. “I do sir says one of his men.” Bring down that Garbage(NVA Flag) and run up our colors.” as the NVA Flag comes down and Old Glory is raised,You can see it all over the City, fighting Marines all over the City see the flag going up and Cheers go up form everywhere. We suddenly are over come with emotion and patriotism as we realize the similarity with Iwo Jima.

The Canal Bridge.

Snipers!

They killed one of our guys from a building across the canal bridge. We killed them and the next morning more took their place. The Skipper said to clear that house ( a 3 story concrete house.) and get those snipers! We cleared the house but each night they come back in.Cpt. Downs asks us to set up a Command detonation form the other side of the canal from a office building where we had our battalion command CP. We hid 6- 20 lb satchels of C-4 in the rubble at key structural spots in the building that would bring the building down with an electronic remote device controlled from the room on the other side of the canal.

Nightfall,

We watch the house with a twilight scope form our window. NVA start coming in, we can see them moving past windows. We watch for several hours while more and more move into the house. Once we see no new occupants we hit the switch and blow the building up. It heaves up a bit and then collapses into a pile.

Next morning we search the rubble to find how many bodies. 6 NVA soldiers and one woman and one small child. The horror of finding the child was overwhelming and devastating for me for ten years.

“Blow the bridge!” says Cpt. Downs. The Lt and 2 other engineers from our Battalion are handling some of the demolition load. They bring shape charges to set on the bridge to blow it.

As they are setting the charges, gunfire, the LT goes down. The other men scramble for cover.

The Lt is down in the middle of the bridge and no way to get him without exposing ourselves to heavy enemy fire. Clide says “Lets push a jeep out there and we can have some cover from behind while we recover the LT. Clide and I push the Mighty Might (A Small Jeep) out to the center of the bridge right over top of the LT and pull him up into the back of the jeep. Then pull the jeep backwards to safety. The LT is hurt bad, several abdominal wounds. he is medicvac’d out and survives. The Grunts finally kill all the NVA in the area and we blow the bridge late that day.

Nuns!

We are searching for enemy soldiers all over the city when we come to a Monastery of some kind. Every one seems to be gone. We go inside a building with a long corridor and walk down
3 Nuns come out of a door at the end of the corridor and walk towards us with their hands crossed in their selves and their heads down. As we pass they bow and say nothing continuing past 20 feet they suddenly turn and pull AK 47’s from their robes and raise them to fire. we are quicker and cut them down. G-2 tells us sometime later that the NVA have found several Female’s disguised in other places in the City as well.

The Perfume River.

We could no longer cross to help 3rd Battalion on the other side of the river since we blew up the bridge so we took boats across from west of the city and crossed to meet up with 3rd. Bn. 5th. Marines and we took back the Citadel after heavy fighting in the next 2 days. We spent the next several weeks chasing the rest of the NVA all over the country side.

After 42 days and nights we were relieved by units from 101st. Army Airborne division.

We had killed and wounded More enemy in that 42 days than in any battle in the entire war. we sustained a couple hundred dead and wounded from that campaign and inflicted several thousand enemy casualties.

One of the greatest battles in Marine Corps history and in US Military history.

Our skipper Captain Mike Downs, Clide and I survived without a scratch. Cpt. Downs finished his career as a Brigadier General and is retired, Clide survived his tour and lives in Minisota.

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